CREEPY FILMS: (these are NOT mindless slasher films like Hostel, Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, etc)
SCARIEST: The Blair Witch Project. You, shut up. It was scary and you know it. Now looking back you’re all, “That was so dumb. It was so obvious.” Lies. Go back and watch it again. It is scary still. The part where they are in the tent and they hear stuff in the distance---eeep! I like this movie because it makes the watcher strain to find the scary stuff. We are literally shushing each other to hear the Blair Witch’s cries in the distance; we squint to see the things in the trees and make sense of the little wood dolls. We stretch our necks to decipher the frantic movements of the camera. That’s another great thing about this movie—the mood. The hysterical sweeps of the camera set a feverish mood—a mood of panic, one we as voyeurs must adopt in order to make sense of what we see and hear. Plus, it doesn’t cop out. It leaves us reeling with questions. It doesn’t try to explain itself—oh it was just a crazy lady, or a poor trapped ghost, or a serial killer. No. It leaves you questioning and thus, haunted.
BEST NEW GOREFEST: Wrong Turn (with a nod to The Hills Have Eyes): I don’t know if it is because my mother’s family is from this area or that I have seen roads that look like that. I don’t know if it is the totally creepy weirdos with birth defects or the messed UP stuff they do. Now, it is gory enough to be considered slasher, but it still has enough creep factor and plot to leave you scared—truly scared. It is also plausible (ish) that you COULD take a wrong turn and encounter people like that. Now, some say it is based on a true story. The short answer is no, it isn’t. HOWEVER in every culture there are stories about inbred mountain people eating visitors, which leads me to believe there must be a small kernel of truth…enough to freak me out.
BEST NEW FREAK-OUT: Silent Hill Oh God. This movie messed me up for weeks, almost as scary as Blair Witch. In fact, I’d say this movie is only NOT my number one because of the horrible acting of Sean Bean (he plays Mr. De Silva). His acting is bad enough to destroy the movie for me. The scene with the nurses is mind-numbingly terrifying. The sound track with alarms and ticking is so scary that it is a sound I ONLY associate with this movie. I guess if I ever hear an air-raid siren in real life, I’ll probably try to hide from the Ax-man. Oh—and by the way—see the picture in this note? Yea—that THING is in the movie. I mean, seriously-wtf?
BEST CEREBRAL: The Shining. See my other note about this. The most amazing thing about The Shining is that every part of this movie is scary. The place is scary—maze-like corridors, mind-numbing carpets and wall hangings, and weird color pallets. The characters are scary—Shelley Duvall’s naiveté, Danny’s weird invisible friend who lives in his mouth, Jack who needs no description, hell, even the nice guy in this movie seems ruthlessly honest. At one point he calls the family “assholes who can’t be trusted.” I mean, yeah, it is true, but it seems a little cut-throat (forgive the pun). Talk about creepy. The plot—well let’s just say this, until you start dipping into the time stamps you have no idea how scary the plot really is. I’ll give you one, then you have to check the other note: at 66:6: The shot when Jack gulps down his drink in front of Lloyd has a specific numerical time code of 666 (66 minutes and 6 seconds into the film); it is right after Jack says, “I’d trade my soul for a drink right now.”
RESPECT YOUR ELDERS: The Exorcist. I need an old priest and a young priest. I won’t lie. I am freaked out by the concept of demons. I don’t even like typing the word. There is no zombie, no ghost, no monster that can scare me like demons. I would say The Haunting of Emily Rose is scary too, but they cop out in the end when they try to tie it to schizophrenia and a seizure disorder—wimps. The Exorcist, on the other hand, pulls no punches. There is no question. This is one pissed off demon. It freaks me out. Freakiest scene? You guessed it, the upside down stair crawl. YIKES.
BEST OF THE WORST-- DISAPPOINTING CREEPS: You know when you watch an amazing creepy movie only to be let down by the ending? The best of these? House on Haunted Hill. It was so promising and scary—truly scary until the last 10 minutes. There is also 13 Ghosts. Again—awesome until the end. The “ghosts” in this one are ghouls of the highest caliber. They are archetypal and scary as hell. There is a happy ending which is bleh. This pattern of awesome creepiness that is let down by a happy ending is also seen in The Gate and Poltergeist. In all fairness though, Poltergeist has one of the most off-putting back stories: cursed cast members, malfunctioning set, all sorts of behind-the-scenes creepiness.
Is that it? Blair Witch 2: Not bad, but I’d put it in the category of disappointing endings. Cloverfield: cute and startling, not creepy. The Orphan: get out of here. The Grudge- unless you mean the Japanese version, don’t bother, same goes for Dark Water. Sixth Sense, The Village, The Others, etc ; fantastic, but I don’t really view them as horror. I guess not enough horrific things going on for me to classify them as horror.
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