Sunday, August 9, 2020

8-9-2020 THE TRAIL TEACHES YOU

 

“The trail teaches you what you need to learn.” ~Thru Hiker Aphorism

Growing up, trauma happened to me in big ways. Not little stuff. Big stuff. House burning down. Brother diagnosed with profound mental challenges. Brother almost dying in car accident and being in a coma. Mom diagnosed with cancer. The list goes on. For me BAD things, really BAD things are big. I know I can survive them. I have in the past. Little bad things though, give me trouble. Sadly my ability to handle the big stuff well has caused me to react to small stressors in unhealthy ways. It’s called “fawn response.” I try to stop bad or uncomfortable things by controlling everything around me.

It’s exhausting.

When Dad and I were on the trail, I was petrified that I had gotten us lost. It wasn’t true and frankly a little impossible. Physically, Dad was holding up great. Slow and steady over 4,000 feet of elevation with a 45 pound pack on his back.

BUT

BUT…

I was worried.

On the AT, you get into what they call the green tunnel where everything looks the same. One foot in front of the other to the next white blaze. You can sometimes miss signs and markers. I knew we had to get to Byron Reece to get to my car. Byron Reece descent is HARD. Thunder is in the distance. People are coming up the trail huffing and puffing.

My Garmin is dying and had lost satellite.

My phone is at 10% and has no signal.

Dad is starting to get tired.

More thunder.

Raindrops.

People assure us we’re going the right way.

Dad is slowing.

I’m checking my phone, my Garmin, my paper map. Asking everyone I see “Is this the Byron Reece?” Everyone assures me yes. I’m going the right way. Quarter mile to the parking lot. You’ve got it.

Fawn response activates.

Dad senses it.

“I need a break” he says.

We stop on an outcrop. My heart is racing; this whole trip will be ruined because we are going to have to scale down the Byron Reece (which is no exaggeration…it’s ACTUAL ropes over muddy rocks scaling) in a downpour.

Dad sits stubbornly on his rock. Breathes. Drinks water. Starts to tell me a story. It will be a long story. I need to move him off this rock. Down this mountain before it gets slippery. Before it gets dangerous. Before this whole trip is ruined because I somehow got us lost (I didn’t) and also overestimated his ability to do this (I didn’t) and maybe the parking lot isn’t even down there and all those people were wrong (they weren’t). Dad keeps talking, keeps handing me the water. I’m bouncing from foot to foot.

He keeps talking. He is fully comfortable on his rock. More people go past us. Dad makes me drink water.

Then he stops. Looks at me. “I am being very calculated and making myself take 10 minutes. I want to go, but I know that I need the discipline to force myself to rest.”

Dad, could you tell that almost made me cry? Could you tell?

I stopped bouncing. I sat down behind him. Thunder rumbled. More raindrops. I looked down the trail knowing it was far more than a quarter of a mile to the parking lot. Dad kept handing me the water bottle. When we were ready, we got up. It was more than ten minutes. It was purposeful.

He knew.

Right now I am looking at a school year with the 100th anniversary of Milton High School yearbook on my shoulders—as a SECOND year advisor. I am learning multiple new systems of teaching. I don’t even know if I will have content to put into the book. I don’t know how I will teach. I don’t know what it will even look like. I should have spent the entire weekend learning InDesign, Photoshop, and watching tutorials about MS Teams, Infinite Campus, Notebook, One Note, making and remaking lesson plans.

But I didn’t.

I sat on a rock with my dad. I drank water and listened to the thunder roll in.

We walked down those slippery dangerous steps together. We got DRENCHED. So drenched in fact, that I’m airing out my car because we brought water into it with our wet clothes.

And you know what?

It made the trip perfect.

This year, we can hear the thunder, see the slippery steps, even feel the raindrops. We are tired and sore and thirsty for what is comfortable. We WANT to move. To mitigate. To plan, re-plan, plan again.

But I needed my dad to remind me to be disciplined. Take rest. Take stock of your surroundings and have faith in yourself.

I needed this weekend. The book will get made. The school year will happen. The kids will learn.

My dad is a teacher and he knew. The trail knew.

Now I know.  

Sunday, May 17, 2020

NOVEL SNIPPET: SCRIVNERS

I saw an article once about a girl with Echolalia who couldn't speak. She would thrash about and bang her head and only repeat phrases back to her parents. She'd flap her hands and slap her face in frustration that they didn’t understand. Then, one day she found a computer and started to type words: “chocolate,” “Starburst,” “Lemondrop.” She, her name was Kelly I think, spoke on her terms--after all what is the point of language if it cannot get you sweets? She spoke through written word, and eventually explained that her brain was inundated with the minutia of her five senses. Her brain took a thousand pictures every time she glanced at someone's face. She felt her clothes were itching her constantly, and heavy, so heavy. Every tiny little noise crawled up her spine and rang in her ears, reverberating incessantly until she could not do anything but beat the air against its assault. Sensory overload caused her verbal silence.

That is why she could only repeat the echoes of what she heard—they echoed so loudly she had to throw them back at the world. She could not make the gaps in her mind wide enough for the story-words to come out through her mouth. But banging on the keys of the computer helped her create space enough to slip herself out of that interior.  Oddly, from the outside, Kelly appeared mad while she typed her letters to the world, hunched over the keyboard, rocking back and forth, slapping one hand against her chest while the other madly typed. Written language helped people understand that she was not mad; she just couldn't tell aloud the stories the way we do. Stories that give us gaps for meanings like time, geography, identity. Stories that may or not may not be true—but that certainly aren't madness. 

My brother has a similar condition: Echolalia. At least, that is part of what he has, a symptom of a larger issue. In the 80’s we didn’t know that mercury-flavored word: autism.  They mistakenly called Durward’s condition “schizophrenia” or maybe “mental retardation” while staring at us over clipboards.

As a child, I wanted so much to love him. But I hated his constant need. I don’t hate him now. In fact, I’d argue he saved my soul and the souls of a lot of people. If we have souls. I like to think we do.

I saw another article about other children with disorders like Ward. They would sit with “transcribers” who would hold the child’s elbow, and like magic! AHA! The child could speak fluently through the computer. Families paid thousands of dollars to the false notion that their loved one was simply trapped inside a body that would not behave. Sadly, a few years and hundreds of thousands of dollars later, those families learned. The “transcribers” were the ones typing for the kids. That, yes, a fraction of those children were freed by keyboards and now able to “speak” through computers, but these scrivners were no Bartlebys. Most of them were frauds. Most of those parents had spent life savings to be shammed either purposefully or unconsciously by transcribers who were saying what they thought these kids wanted to be said. Kids like Ward are in there, somewhere, but computers cannot free them.  

Ward doesn’t really “speak”. He echoes back to me what I say: “Durward, do you want to go outside?”

“Outside?”

“Where is your shoe?”

“Shoe!” But I told stories for him, like the transcribers. I filled in the gaps for him. I said I loved him, because that is what good little girls do.

And I was a good little girl. 

Eventually the story I thought I was telling became true so then...was it ever really a story at all? 

RECIPE: AUNT DIANE'S CHRISTMAS CRACK


  • 1.5 sleeves of saltine crackers
  • 2 stick (4 oz) butter
  • 1 cup packed light brown sugar
  • 1 and ½ packages of milk chocolate chips

 

 

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Prepare the baking sheet by lining it with wax paper and spraying the paper with nonstick cooking spray.

 

2. Arrange the crackers in a single layer on the baking sheet so that there are no empty spaces in between them. Crush any remaining crackers into small crumbs and set aside for now.

 

 

3. Place the butter and brown sugar in a small saucepan over medium-high heat.

Stir while the butter melts, and bring the mixture to a rolling boil. Allow to boil for 3 minutes while continuously frothing. Then carefully pour the sugar-butter mixture over the crackers on the baking sheet in an even layer, trying to cover most of the crackers. If you miss some spots, don’t worry as the toffee will spread in the oven.

 

4. Bake the toffee crackers at 350 degrees for five minutes, until the toffee is bubbling all over. Carefully remove the pan from the oven.

 

5. Sprinkle the chocolate chips on top of the hot toffee, and allow them to sit for one minute to soften and melt. Once softened, use an offset spatula or knife to spread the melted chocolate over the entire surface of the toffee in an even layer. While the chocolate is still sticky, sprinkle the top with the reserved crushed crackers.

 

6. Refrigerate the pan to set the toffee and chocolate for about 2 hours. Once set, break into small uneven pieces by hand, and enjoy! Store uneaten saltine toffee in an airtight container for up to a week.

RECIPE: MUSHROOM BREAKFAST CASSEROLE & ROCKSTAR CASSEROLE

MUSHROOM BREAKFAST CASSEROLE: 

Ingredients:

  • 1 can cream of mushroom soup
  • 1 can (7oz) can of mushrooms
  • 6 eggs or egg substitute
  • 1 tbsp onion, chopped
  • 1/2 cups milk, soy milk or rice milk
  • 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese or soy cheese
  • approximately 4 slices whole grain bread
  • 1 tbsp cooking oil or spray

Preparation:

In a skillet, sautee can of mushroom and onions in cooking oil or spray for about 5 minutes, until lightly browned. Layer mushroom and onions  in the bottom of a 9"x 9" pan. Cut bread slices into 1 inch strips and layer them across the mushrooms.

In a small bowl mix the eggs and milk with cream of mushroom soup. Pour egg mixture evenly over the bread slices. Cover with shredded cheese.

Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Bake uncovered in a 350 degree oven for 35 to 45 minutes until golden on top. Garnish with parsley

........................................................................................................................................................


ROCKSTAR BREAKFAST CASSEROLE: 


  •  30 oz. bag of frozen shredded hash browns
  • 5 eggs
  • 2/3 cup milk
  • 2 (10.5 oz.) cans of cream of potato soup
  • Package refrigerated crescent  rolls
  • 1 (16 oz.) tub of sour cream
  • 1 lb sausage cooked, drained
  • 1/2 of a medium to large yellow onion, diced
  • 2 cups of fresh grated sharp cheddar cheese
  • 2 cups of your favorite cheese blend (I use a six cheese Italian blend that consists of Parmesan, Mozzarella, Fontina, Provolone, Asiago and Romano)
  • 2 tablespoons of pepper
  • salt to taste
  • dash of smoked paprika

DIRECTIONS

 

Night before:

1. Spray a  9 x 13 pan with  cooking spray then line with crescent rolls (uncooked)-this will be your crust

2. Beat eggs and milk in small bowl

3. Pour egg mixture over crescent rolls

4. Spread sausage over egg mixture (it will blend with egg mixture)

5.  Chop the onion, grate the cheese. Mix together with the sour cream, hash browns, soup, onion, cheddar cheese and seasonings.

6. Spread over sausage/egg mixture and top with cheese blend. 

6. Refrigerate overnight. 

7. Bake at 325 degrees for one hour or until hot, bubbly and golden brown around the edges.

 

If you make it the night before, take it out of the refrigerator about 20 minutes before baking.

 

Also, if you so desire, sprinkling cooked bacon on top adds even more flavor and a nice crunch.

Now all you have to do in the morning is pop into the oven when you wake up and enjoy it an hour later!

RECIPE: WHITE CHILI

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 medium onion, finely chopped

1 can (4-ounces) chopped green chilies, drained

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 cans (16 ounces) BUSH'S BEST Great Northern Beans

1 can(14.5 ounces) chicken broth

1 can(14.5 ounces) white corn

1 ½ cups shredded cooked chicken breast

Shredded Monterey Jack cheese (optional)

1 chopped jalapeno (optional)

Sour cream (optional)

Green Salsa (optional)

 

In large skillet, cook onion in oil for 4 minutes or until transparent. Add chilies, flour and cumin; cook and stir for 2 minutes. Add beans, corn and chicken broth; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer for 10 minutes or until thickened. Add chicken; cook until hot.

 

Garnish with cheese, sour cream, jalapeno and salsa, if desired.

RECIPE: MIRZA

Ingredients

8 eggs, large
2 large eggplants
6 large tomatoes, chopped
2 tablespoons garlic puree
2 teaspoons tumeric
salt, black pepper
1/4 cup olive oil

1. Prick eggplants all over. Place on a cookie sheet and bake at 400º for about 20 minutes or until very tender.

2. In the mean time mince the garlic and puree by pressing down your knife and smashing it by firmly dragging the knife over the garlic.

3. Once the eggplants are ready, take them out of the oven and let them rest for five minutes Then dunk them in a bowl of ice water (it helps you peel them more easily). 

4. Once they have cooled down peel the skin off. This should be easy and quick.

5. Rough chop the eggplant and mash with a fork. Also, chop your tomatoes.

6. Season eggs with salt and pepper. Whisk until frothy.

7. Warm up the oil and add the garlic. Add turmeric, stir constantly and cook for about 4 minutes.

8. Add eggs and stir well. Cook eggs as you would when making scrambled eggs. 

9. Move eggs to center of pot. Add eggplants and tomatoes in a circle around the eggs. Season with salt and pepper.

10. Cook covered on medium-high stirring often until the liquid has evaporated. 

11. Stir well so that the eggs are uniformly mixed with the eggplant and tomatoes.

12. Serve Mirza Ghassemi with a side of thinly sliced cucumbers and plain yogurt.

RECIPE: LOW CAL VEGETABLE SOUP

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 heaping cup diced onion (160 g, approx. 1 small or 1/2 a large)
  • 1 heaping cup peeled and diced carrot (160 g, approx. 2 medium)
  • 1 diced green pepper
  • 1 cup chopped celery (150 g, approx. 3 ribs)
  • 1/2 a jalapeno, de-seeded and minced (or a whole one for extra spiciness)
  • 3 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 tsp each cumin, oregano and chili powder
  • 3-4 cups vegetable broth (start with 3 cups, add a bit if it seems to thick)
  • 1 cup (250 mL) tomato sauce (any plain tomato pasta sauce works)
  • 1 19 oz can black beans, drained and rinsed (330 g, about 2 cups cooked)
  • 1/2 cup finely chopped cilantro
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • squeeze of fresh lime juice

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Add the onion, carrot, celery, garlic and bell pepper to a soup pot with a bit of the vegetable broth and cook for 5-10 minutes until starting to soften.
  2. Stir in the spices and cook for a few more minutes.
  3. Add the broth, tomato sauce and black beans and simmer lightly until the carrots are tender, about 15 minutes.
  4. Scoop half of the soup into a blender and puree until very smooth.
  5. Pour it back into the pot and stir in the cilantro. Season with salt and pepper and add a squeeze of fresh lime juice, if desired.

NOTES

  • Sub 2-3 chili peppers in adobo sauce for the jalapeno for more of a chipotle flavour.
  • Start with 3 cups of vegetable broth and add a bit more if it seems to thick, it just depends on the exact amount of veggies you use and how thick you want your soup. 

NUTRITION

  • Serving Size: 1/6th of recipe (350 g)
  • Calories: 157
  • Fat: 1 g
  • Carbohydrates: 30 g
  • Fiber: 9 g
  • Protein: 7 g

RECIPE: BRUNSWICK STEW

First the sauce:
In a 2 quart sauce pan, over low heat, melt ¼ cup of butter then add:
1¾ cups Catsup
¼ cup French's Yellow Mustard
¼ cup white vinegar

Blend until smooth, then add:
½ tablespoon chopped garlic
1 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
½ teaspoon crushed red pepper
½ oz. Liquid Smoke
1 oz. Worcestershire Sauce
1 oz. Crystal Hot Sauce or ½ oz. Tabasco
½ tablespoon fresh lemon juice

Blend until smooth, then add:
¼ cup dark brown sugar
Stir constantly, increase heat to simmer (DO NOT BOIL) for approx. 10 minutes.
Makes approx. 3½ cups of sauce (set aside - to be added later).


Then The Stew:
In a 2 gallon pot, over low heat melt ¼ lb of butter then add:
3 cups small diced potatoes
1 cup small diced onion
2  14½ oz. cans of chicken broth
1 lb baked chicken (white and dark)
8-10 oz. smoked pork

Bring to a rolling boil, stirring until potatoes are near done, then add:
1 8½ oz. can early peas
2   14½ oz. cans stewed tomatoes - (chop tomatoes, add liquid to the stew pot)
The prepared sauce
1 16 oz. can of baby lima beans
¼ cup Liquid Smoke
1  14½ oz. can creamed corn
Slow simmer for 2 hours

Yields 1 gallon

Why I Hate The Test (written 2010)

So as merit pay comes back up, I think it only fair to explain why I hate the test. I borrowed this, but it sums up my feelings perfectly.
.............................................................................................................................

A kid raises his hand during the drill-and-kill test. "I'm supposed to find the main idea of a book that is about the desert, but the options are Cactus Heat, By the Ocean and Mountain Drought and Shrinking Ice Caps. All of these will work. Chile has a desert that's nestled right up against the ocean. Mountains have deserts, too. And one of the largest deserts is freezing cold. Hasn't the test-maker ever heard of Antarctica? See, a desert isn't simply hot and flat. It's about precipitation."

On another test, he asks, "I'm supposed to say how many people will be at the party. If I'm not counting myself, this works out just fine. But if I'm not then it won't work. The test question doesn't ask, but I think it's rude to not attend your own birthday party." He's right. The correct answer could be 12 or 13, which is B or C.

He raises his hand five times when the question reads, "Which is the best question for . . . " and says, "They're making the subjective into something objective. Why can't they just let me write my own question and judge that instead?"

No one asks him to defend his answers. No one gives him a chance to clarify a question. Given his special education accommodations, I can re-read a question but I can't explain it. The system is set up to efficiently measure critical thinking and few people seem to question whether higher order questioning belongs with a low-order format (multiple choice).

I don't deny that he has a hard time reading. His mind meanders in often bizarre directions. Thus, he is able to answer a critical thinking question, but miss a simple comprehension question. He over-analyzes answers that he believes are vague. In math, he can explain a complex concept and then make a simple math error that ruins the entire problem.

When the test is over, he draws a scene from The Shining. I ask him about it later. "The Jack Nicholson guy is a politician and the students are saying red rum and the politicians look really scared. They're living out of fear and the kids are scared too. But it's not until the politicians look at themselves in the mirror that they realize that they are the ones killing our education."

According to the Galileo, he doesn't understand theme or symbolism or metaphor. He earned a sixty percent, which will drop his A in reading down to a C. I'm not suggesting that this story resembles most students. Yet, I have seen many students who fit this criteria. They are great thinkers and lousy test takers. (For the record, I'm a decent thinker and a great test taker, which is why I ended up in honors classes and some of my smartest friends were overlooked)

I used to believe that if I taught kids well, they could pass the test. I thought that I didn't have to teach to the test in order for them to pass it. I believed critical thinkers were smarter than test-makers. I'm having second thoughts about all of those presuppositions.

But I'm still banking on this hope: that some of the kids who fail the test will find a way to succeed in life.

Cows and Communism (Ha!)

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

 

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

 

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

 

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

 

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

 

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

 

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

 

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

 

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

 

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

 

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

 

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

 

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

 

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

The Shining: Interesting Notes

The Shining is not really about the murders at the Overlook Hotel. It is about the murder of a race - the race of Native Americans - and the consequences of that murder.

 

Motif Connection:

If you are skeptical about this, consider the Calumet baking powder cans with their Indian chief logo that Kubrick placed carefully in the two food-locker scenes. (A calumet is a peace pipe.) Consider the Indian motifs that decorate the hotel, and the way they serve as background in many of the key scenes. Consider the insertion of two lines, early in the film, describing how the hotel was built on an Indian burial ground. These are "confirmers" such as puzzle-makers often use to tell you you're on the right track.The Shining is also explicitly about America's general inability to admit to the gravity of the genocide of the Indians - or, more exactly, its ability to "overlook" that genocide. Not only is the site called the Overlook Hotel with its Overlook Maze, but one of the key scenes takes place at the July 4th Ball. That date, too, has particular relevance to American Indians. That's why Kubrick made a movie in which the American audience sees signs of Indians in almost every frame, yet never really sees what the movie's about. The film's very relationship to its audience is thus part of the mirror that this movie full of mirrors holds up to the nature of its audience.

 

No Actual Indians:

Indian artwork appear throughout the movie in wall hangings, carpets, architectural details and even the Colorado state flag. Yet we never meet an actual Indian. But we do get to know, and like, and then see murdered, a powerful black character, Chef Hallorann - the only person to die in the film other that the protagonist, villain and victim, Jack. The murdered black man lies across a large Indian design on the floor - victim of similar racist violence. Kubrick carefully controls every aspect of his films' releases, including the publicity. The posters for The Shining that were used in Europe read across the top, "The wave of terror which swept across America," and centered below that, the two word "is here." At first glance this seemed to be a poster bragging about the film's effect on America. But the film wasn't out yet when the posters first appeared. The wave of terror that swept across America was the white man. As manager Ullman says in the opening interview, after telling Jack of the horrible murders that took place earlier in the Overlook, "It's still hard for me to believe it actually happened here, but it did." The type of people who partied in the Overlook included, as Ullman tells Jack and Wendy, "four presidents, movie stars." And when the impressed Wendy asks, "Royalty?" Ullman replies simply, "All the best people." King's novel has nothing to do with any of these themes. As he has with other books that gave their titles to his movies, Kubrick used the general setting and some of the elements of King's novel, while drastically altering other elements and ignoring much of it, to suit the needs of the multi-film oeuvre about mankind's inhumanity to man that he's been making at least since Dr. Strangelove.

 

Spatial/ Temporal

Kubrick carefully equates the Overlook Maze with the Overlook Hotel, and both with the American continent. Chef Hallorann emphasizes to Wendy the size and abundance of the kitchens, remarks upon the extraordinary elbow room (so attractive to early settlers) and begins his long catalog of its storerooms' wealth with those most American of items: rib roast, hamburger and turkey. The Calumet baking powder can first appears during Hallorann's tour of the dairy goods storage locker. In a moment of cinematic beauty, we are looking up at Hallorann from Danny's point of view. As Hallorann tells Wendy about the riches of that locker, his voice fades as he turns to look down at Danny and, while his lips are still moving with words of the abundant supplies, Danny hears the first telepathic "shining" from Hallorann's head as he says, "How'd you like some ice cream, Doc?" Visible right behind Hallorann's head in that shot, on the shelf, is one can of Calumet baking powder. This approach from the open, honest and charismatic Hallorann to the brilliant young Danny is an honest treaty, and Danny will indeed get his ice cream in the very next scene. The other appearance of the Calumet baking cans is in the scene where Jack, locked in the same dry-goods locker by his terrified wife, is talking through the door to the very British voice of ghost Grady. Grady speaking of behalf of the never identified "we," who seem to be powerful people, is shaming Jack into trying to kill his wife and son. ("I and others have come to believe that your heart is not in this, that you haven't the belly for it." To which Jack replies, "Just give me one more chance to prove it, Mr. Grady.") Visible just behind Jack's head as he talks with Grady is a shelf piled with many Calumet baking powder cans, none of them straight on, none easy to read. These are the many false treaties, revoked in bloody massacre, that the U.S. government gave the Indians, and that are symbolically represented in this movie by Jack's rampage to kill his own family - the act to which Grady is goading Jack in this scene. Nor is the treaty between Grady and Jack any less dishonest. For Jack will get no reward for doing Grady's bidding, but rather will reap insanity and death.

 

-NUMBERS-  

Everywhere you look in the major scenes of the film through casual observation or simple math the same set of numbers turn up in some fashion. 12, 24 their inverted images 21, 42 and component numbers can be easily spotted in character actions, sounds, dates, props, possessions, time codes, durations of shots and scenes, and even the music we hear. Many have been changed from Stephen King’s novel for no apparent reason.

 

12: There is only one enigmatic room in the movie that Danny isn't supposed to go into, Room 237, and its individual numbers add up to 12.

The Overlook has only one call number; it's KDK 12 (“KDK 12 calling KDK 1”). There is only one set of bloody elevators and they're always stopped on floor 1 and 2. Only two times are given in the movie's black frames, add them together (8 AM + 4PM) and you get 12. ....and Stanley Kubrick doubled only one name from Stephen King's novel, Grady. In the movie he has 2 names and they both contain the same number of letters; Charles Grady = 12 Letters and Delbert Grady = 12 Letters.

 

21: There's only one enigmatic final shot in the film and there are 21 pictures on the wall with a 21 in the date and a :21 in the time code. Jack only works on one novel and Wendy stops at line 21 as she pulls the page out of the carriage of his typewriter. When she first spots it, we hear her thumb through 24 pages of the novel in the box. The money shot in the Hedge Maze is when Danny fools Jack and there are 21 full footprints in the snow in this scene. There are 21 pieces of mail behind the receptionist when Jack walks into The Overlook for the first time.

 

24: There's only one mysterious date in "The Shining" and the numbers of that date 7/4/1921 added together equals 24.  There's only one master staircase in The Overlook's Colorado Lounge where Wendy clobbers Jack, and counting the platform which is also a large step there are a total of 24 steps to the top of it and 6 steps on each side. Wendy pulls on the storeroom latch 24 times. Danny’s first vision of the blood coming out of the elevator happens only once and it's exactly :24 seconds long, to the frame.

 

42:  Room 237= 2 x 3 x 7 = 42 There's only one recognizable movie clip we see and it's from the “Summer of 42”. It also just happens to be the scene at :24 minutes into that movie. Danny wears the number 42 once on his T-shirt in their bathroom. Jack breaks down their apartment door with his ax only once and it takes him exactly :42 seconds, from first frame to last to do it (when we see him first hit it with the ax to when he pulls the ax out before opening the door). We also hear Jack hit the bathroom door 12 times with his ax. And don't forget Stanley Kubrick edited it so that Wendy swings the bat 42 times. With the first swing being in this shot right after Jack says, "How do you like it".

 

Film Slide Numbers:

1) The 4 shots filmed in the reflection of a mirror have specific numerical time codes that include this same set of numbers - 11, 11+24, 11+42, and 11+1:10 which are also found on Danny’s sweaters (remember that we see an 11 on Danny's Apollo sweater). I discuss these 4 shots in the section, "The Significance of Mirror Shots".

 

2) The shot when Jack gulps down his drink in front of Lloyd has a specific numerical time code of 666 (66 minutes and 6 seconds into the film)

 

3) The shot of Jack entering room 237 has a specific time code that places it exactly half way between the beginning and the end of the story.

 

4) The 2 shots filmed in the reflection of Wendy’s mirror (the words murder and Stovington both seen in reverse) have specific time codes that place them exactly one quarter of the way from the beginning and three quarters of the way from the end of the story.

 

COLORS: 

The colors yellow and red are another important part in the understanding “The Shining”.

 

YELLOW: The brightest and most obvious yellow items are Jack’s 2 special possessions and each plays a significant role in the movie. The yellow Volkswagen (changed from red in the novel) brings him to the Overlook, and the yellow ball (also changed from red in the novel) lures Danny to room 237. It’s Danny’s (and it’s red) in the novel but now, in another plot reversal, it’s Jack’s and may well have also lured him to the Overlook.  Look closely at the creepy carpet that Danny is always playing on. Red and yellow are prominent but it was blue/black in the novel. Danny’s yellow and red dwarf from Snow White (Dopey) before his 1st vision. Their yellow bathroom door with red writing on it. And don’t forget the Advocaat that Delbert Grady spills on Jack at the party, it's also yellow.

 

RED: Red also seems to be prominent in "The Shining" The red key to room 237.The red bathroom in the Gold Room where Jack has his vision of Grady. The red elevators. Danny’s red sweater as he "Shines". The red picture behind Dick Hallorann while he's “Shining”. Danny throws Red darts just before his first vision of the girls.The important number 42 is red on Danny’s sweatshirt in his bathroom before the vision of the bloody elevators.

 

And of course-- Redrum.

 

THE PHOTO: “God, I'd give anything for a drink. My God dam soul.” Stanley Kubrick puts it all in that one line. You can feel sympathy for Jack's character or not but he did take a major wrong turn in life. An evil turn, “if I may be so bold”. I mentioned before Stanley Kubrick’s obvious manipulation of time codes in the movie and this proves it. If you look closely at the time code, the shot where we hear Jack gulp down his first drink is exactly 66 minutes and 6 seconds into the movie. Revelation 13:18; “This calls for wisdom: let the one who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is 666.” What a creepy touch. Stanley Kubrick is telling us that Jack’s character is obviously evil in a Biblical sense and the way he’s posed in the photo proves it. But he doesn’t have him posed as Baphomet; Stanley Kubrick grew up in the last century and has Jack Torrance posed as something he’d seen before. Something that represents evil.

 

Doubling numbers (duplicity): Look at some of the items that Stanley Kubrick doubled from Stephen King's novel for no apparent reason; 1 furnace becomes 2 furnaces, 1 elevator becomes 2 elevators, 1 typewriter becomes 2 typewriters, 1 Grady becomes 2 Grady’s, 1 Overlook becomes 2 Overlooks, 1 woman in the bathroom becomes 2 women in the bathroom, two unseen Grady sisters from the novel (aged 8 and 10) become twins that appear to Danny. Also all the children have 2 years added to their ages; Danny is 5 years old in the novel and becomes 7 years old in the movie, Grady’s girls are 6 and 8 in the novel and they become 8 and 10 in the movie.

 

Other fun stuff:

During the second drive to the Overlook, Jack, Wendy, and Danny Torrence get into a discussion about the Donner Party. Wendy tries to protect her child from hearing this sordid tale of cannibalism, but Danny says he already heard about it on TV. Jack finds this amusing and says "See, it's all right. He heard about it on the TV." Later, Wendy clubs Jack over the head with a baseball bat and drags him into a storeroom. He finds himself locked in a room full of nothing but nationally advertised products. When he escapes, he speaks in nothing but lines out of television. ("Honey, I'm home!" and "Here's Johnny.") He's on a murderous rampage, but it's all right -- you've heard it all on TV.

 

-In one scene, Jack notices his wife trying to read over his shoulder while he's typing. He tears the sheet from the typewriter and throws it on the floor. When Wendy leaves and Jack turns around to begin typing again, there's a fresh sheet of paper in the typewriter. Kubrick doesn't make mistakes like that. The Overlook is actually feeding Jack paper.

Kohanim Halloween Movies Part Three: Foreign Films

FOREIGN FILMS: This is a new genre for me, so if you have suggestions PLEASE add in comments.

 

 

SCARIEST: So far? Dark Water and Ju-On. Tie. I like the more traditional Asian ghost stories because I think Eastern horror does ghosts waaaaaay better than Western horror. Their slow-moving approach and artistic methodology make the forbidding rooms with little furniture, dim lighting, and one or two incessantly chilling noises all the more menacing. Their ghost stories leave me scared and romanced all at once. Their gore isn’t even gory. I mean, if you call dripping slimy black water with mottled blood gory, then you obviously haven’t seen Saw (btw- I hate movies like Saw—mindless).

 

These two movies, on the other hand, are terrifying with very little real gore. Oh, and the way the ghosts move…like they are all twisted up with ghostly torment, holy scarefest! Now, I know there are American versions of these two films, but if you haven’t seen the American versions yet, don’t bother. Watch the originals. SO MUCH BETTER! If you have seen them, try to tuck away what you remember of the yucky Western movies, and just appreciate these Eastern gems without comparing them. They won’t disappoint.

 

 

BEST GOREFEST: Ichi the Killer. I think this is part of a trilogy but I’m not sure. So this movie has two of the most terrifying characters I have come across, Kakihara, an utterly sadomasochistic torturer who enjoys receiving pain as much as he likes dishing it out. His mouth is cut like into an ear-to-ear smiley face which he keeps closed with safety pins. There is also Ichi, a quiet and withdrawn individual, traumatized by witnessing bullies rape a girl in his childhood. At the time, he felt the urge to join in rather than stop it. Ichi is completely insane and struggles to differentiate violence and sexual pleasure and when angered he becomes a sobbing killing machine. It is disturbing to watch. Then again, I suspect that being slashed to bits buy someone in a trashy superhero outfit and razor blade boots would be traumatizing for anyone. This one will mess you up for days.

 

 

BEST FREAK-OUT: 3 Extremes. This is actually 3 horror flicks in one. All three are terrifying, but the first one is more than scary—it is nothing short of horrific. It is called “Dumplings” and has Bai Ling in it. (actually she is good)  Let’s just say three words and leave it at that: Babies. Are. Eaten. Enough said. Not really gory, although the second story is pretty rough. All the blood is very dramatic, not really gory. The second story in the film, ”Cut” is very arthouse gore in its shots. There is a lot of red splashed on white. It too is haunting, but it does not compare to the last of the three stories, The last story is just haunting. It is called ”Box” and it reminds me of a Salvador Dali painting. The ending scene is a huge twist and makes the movie all the more surreal, because you begin to question just WHERE the story begins. Ultimately, the movie ends like it begins, as though it were a dream.  The picture below is from this movie, specifically the middle story, “Cut.”

 

 

BEST CEREBRALThe Vanishing. This one was recommended by a coworker and I would have put it in the creepy movies note, but it is the original Swedish version of "The Vanishing" that is super scary. Apparently  there is an American version, but from what I’ve read, it isn’t that scary.  I’ll also say that this movie is the epitome of creepy. It creeps up on you. You think you are watching a murder-mystery, a kind of who-done-it until the last 20 minutes of the movie when you are plunged head first in psychopath-ville. I mean REAL psychopath, not Mike Meyers psychopath. I can’t say anymore without ruining it, but let’s just put it this way…you never know people…not really.

 

 

Is that itA Tale of Two Sisters. This also has a Western counterpart that doesn’t live up to its Eastern version. The situational irony of this movie is really what gets you. At one point you realize at least one of these people is either dead, or crazy. It will warp you when you find out who (btw- the who is different in the Asian version than the Western version).

Kohanim Halloween Movies Part Two: Creepy Films

CREEPY FILMS: (these are NOT mindless slasher films like Hostel, Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, etc)

 

SCARIEST: The Blair Witch Project. You, shut up. It was scary and you know it. Now looking back you’re all, “That was so dumb. It was so obvious.” Lies. Go back and watch it again. It is scary still. The part where they are in the tent and they hear stuff in the distance---eeep! I like this movie because it makes the watcher strain to find the scary stuff. We are literally shushing each other to hear the Blair Witch’s cries in the distance; we squint to see the things in the trees and make sense of the little wood dolls. We stretch our necks to decipher the frantic movements of the camera. That’s another great thing about this movie—the mood. The hysterical sweeps of the camera set a feverish mood—a mood of panic, one we as voyeurs must adopt in order to make sense of what we see and hear. Plus, it doesn’t cop out. It leaves us reeling with questions. It doesn’t try to explain itself—oh it was just a crazy lady, or a poor trapped ghost, or a serial killer. No. It leaves you questioning and thus, haunted.

 

 

BEST NEW GOREFESTWrong Turn (with a nod to The Hills Have Eyes): I don’t know if it is because my mother’s family is from this area or that I have seen roads that look like that. I don’t know if it is the totally creepy weirdos with birth defects or the messed UP stuff they do. Now, it is gory enough to be considered slasher, but it still has enough creep factor and plot to leave you scared—truly scared. It is also plausible (ish) that you COULD take a wrong turn and encounter people like that. Now, some say it is based on a true story. The short answer is no, it isn’t. HOWEVER in every culture there are stories about inbred mountain people eating visitors, which leads me to believe there must be a small kernel of truth…enough to freak me out.

 

 

BEST NEW FREAK-OUT: Silent Hill Oh God.  This movie messed me up for weeks, almost as scary as Blair Witch. In fact, I’d say this movie is only NOT my number one because of the horrible acting of Sean Bean (he plays Mr. De Silva). His acting is bad enough to destroy the movie for me. The scene with the nurses is mind-numbingly terrifying. The sound track with alarms and ticking is so scary that it is a sound I ONLY associate with this movie. I guess if I ever hear an air-raid siren in real life, I’ll probably try to hide from the Ax-man. Oh—and by the way—see the picture in this note? Yea—that THING is in the movie. I mean, seriously-wtf?

 

 

BEST CEREBRALThe Shining. See my other note about this. The most amazing thing about The Shining is that every part of this movie is scary. The place is scary—maze-like corridors, mind-numbing carpets and wall hangings, and weird color pallets. The characters are scary—Shelley Duvall’s naiveté,   Danny’s weird invisible friend who lives in his mouth, Jack who needs no description, hell, even the nice guy in this movie seems ruthlessly honest. At one point he calls the family “assholes who can’t be trusted.” I mean, yeah, it is true, but it seems a little cut-throat (forgive the pun). Talk about creepy.  The plot—well let’s just say this, until you start dipping into the time stamps you have no idea how scary the plot really is. I’ll give you one, then you have to check the other note: at 66:6: The shot when Jack gulps down his drink in front of Lloyd has a specific numerical time code of 666 (66 minutes and 6 seconds into the film); it is right after Jack says, “I’d trade my soul for a drink right now.”

 

RESPECT YOUR ELDERS: The Exorcist.  I need an old priest and a young priest. I won’t lie. I am freaked out by the concept of demons. I don’t even like typing the word. There is no zombie, no ghost, no monster that can scare me like demons. I would say The Haunting of Emily Rose is scary too, but they cop out in the end when they try to tie it to schizophrenia and a seizure disorder—wimps. The Exorcist, on the other hand, pulls no punches. There is no question. This is one pissed off demon. It freaks me out. Freakiest scene? You guessed it, the upside down stair crawl. YIKES.

 

BEST OF THE WORST-- DISAPPOINTING CREEPS: You know when you watch an amazing creepy movie only to be let down by the ending? The best of these? House on Haunted Hill. It was so promising and scary—truly scary until the last 10 minutes. There is also 13 Ghosts. Again—awesome until the end. The “ghosts” in this one are ghouls of the highest caliber. They are archetypal and scary as hell. There is a happy ending which is bleh. This pattern of awesome creepiness that is let down by a happy ending is also seen in The Gate and Poltergeist. In all fairness though, Poltergeist has one of the most off-putting back stories: cursed cast members, malfunctioning set, all sorts of behind-the-scenes creepiness.

 

Is that it? Blair Witch 2: Not bad, but I’d put it in the category of disappointing endings.  Cloverfield: cute and startling, not creepy. The Orphan: get out of here. The Grudge- unless you mean the Japanese version, don’t bother, same goes for Dark Water. Sixth Sense, The Village, The Others, etc ; fantastic, but I don’t really view them as horror. I guess not enough horrific things going on for me to classify them as horror.

Kohanim Halloween Movies Part One: ZOMBIES

ZOMBIES:

SCARIEST: Return of the Living Dead II. Why is it the scariest? Two words: Tar Man (or maybe his name is one word, Tarman). Tarman has skin coming off his body in strips; his face is a blackened skull AND he can use tools, man. Forget the mindless masses- these z-boys and girls can TALK. They can also “smell your  brains,” so forget about hiding.  This is a mix of runners and rotters which I also find more realistic. Romero would disagree, but that’s okay, this isn’t one of his films.

This is the ONLY zombie movie I am genuinely afraid of.

 

BEST NEW: Tie. I love Shaun of the Dead because it pays tribute to Romero, is funny, and still a little creepy. I love Zombieland because it caters to the survivalist in all zombie-geeks.  Both are fun rides and not scary—maybe that’s why I don’t love them enough to separate them. I repeat…not scary. :)

 

BEST CEREBRAL: Should I make a joke about a zombie movie with brains? Nah. Wouldn’t want people to think I’m cheesy. Ok-best cerebral zombie movie? Day of the Dead. (1985 version—the new one Is AWFUL) This movie explores the philosophy behind the breakdown of mankind, how science tries to explain things for no reason, and even hints at the US response to global conflict (AKA—Reaganism: which is, when shit gets tough, hide in a bunker then POOF! No more shit, right? Right?! RIGHT?!) PS: the creepy song you hear in Resident Evil the video game—it came from this movie.  My favorite quote is by the Jamaican guy: “You want to put some kind of explanation on all this? Here's one as good as any other. We're bein' punished by the Creator. He visited a curse on us. Maybe He didn't want to see us blow ourselves up, put a big hole in the sky. Maybe He just wanted to show us He's still the Boss Man. Maybe He figure, we gettin' too big for our britches, tryin' to figure His shit out.”

 

RESPECT YOUR ELDERS: best old Zombie movie? Well—I have to cheat here. It is actually a remake of the original. The female character in the original is too annoying: Night of the Living Dead 1990 version.  This is a remake of the 1960s original. My suggestion? Watch both, but watch the 90s version first. Oh, and if you have a copy of the 2006 one—the 3D one—I have a suggestion for that too. It involves tossing it in your fireplace. Yuck. Anyway- the 90s version has it all. Cheesy lines, bad escape attempts, and fun doomsday descriptions.  The archetypal zombies are all there: Torso, Bride, Grownup + doll, child, naked person, person dressed in spiritual garb (ala the Hare Krishna zombie in Dawn of the Dead), crawlers, lurkers, and roamers.

 

BEST OF THE RUNNERS: So, there are two camps of zombies enthusiasts, runners vs rotters. (or as some call it: Shamblers  vs Rage Zombies)Now, Romero, King of Zombies, dislikes the people in the “runners camp” calling themselves zombie-enthusiasts, because, as Romero points out, they aren’t dead. They are infected. They are not the embodiment of life and death combined. Still, the thought of hundreds of thousands of people infected with Eat-Your-Face-Off-Disease, is frightening. Number one? I am Legend. I know, I know—“They aren’t zombies—they’re vampires!” “ It is based off a short story about VAMPIRES!” “They can’t come out in the sun!” You know what I say to that? Shut up. They’re zombies. They are scary. They attack in packs; they are remnants of humans. They want to eat your face—or beat it in. They are NOT sexy and their only drive is to kill humans.

 

To satisfy the nay-sayers, I’ll add that 28 Days Later is also amazing. I’d give it 4.75 out of 5 stars and I am Legend, would get 4.95 stars. So, super-close. 28 Days has a great survivalist vibe. It pays homage to fun materialistic fantasy shopping scene from Dawn of the Dead  while avoiding the frenetic mindlessness of 28 Weeks Later. 28 Days also has a nod to Day of the Dead with the evil military guy. The part with the crow dripping blood into the guy’s eye? Pure Zombie art.

 

Note: I’m not trying to leave out Dawn of the Dead (1978). It’s funny. It has a social commentary,  obsession with materialism . It even opens with one of the greatest zombie lines ever: “When the dead walk, Señores; we must stop the killing, or lose the war.". I APPRECIATE this movie. I just don’t like it as much as the others. Sorry.

 

New Romero ? (Diary of the Dead, Island of the Dead, etc) No. Sadly, no.